Time to Heal
by Hikary Sanoko
Summary: No one ever forgets war. Even after two years the war at Marineford has left its mark on Luffy. The Straw Hats can no longer watch their captain suffer in silence and attempt to pick up the pieces of their Captain's broken heart in their own way. Nakamaship
1. Chapter 1

**Time to Heal**

**I couldn't help but write this, it was swimming around my head for so long that I couldn't resist. This fic is not a continuation to 'Jealousy', its separate but you could consider it as a continuation if you want. **

**Did you guys watch the One Piece 3D2Y Special? It was awesome, especially the last like 30 seconds!**

**Enjoy and Read!**

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><p><strong>Chapter<strong>** 1: Sanji**

Unlike most people, Sanji did not mind fire. As a cook he was used to the deadly flames and all its heat, not even flinching at the few times he would get burned.

As a pirate, fire was a daily necessity. Ranging from lighting a cigarette to his Diable Jamba in battle or even the fiery wreckage of an unfortunate Marine ship.

It was almost dark and he wanted to get in one last smoke before bed, the only one left in the kitchen besides him is Luffy, who had first watch and had asked for a snack. He complied after much whining from the smaller boy. Soon the kitchen was filled with the rich aroma of the cooking meat and the sizzling as it browned to perfection, the flames of the grill occasionally flaring up.

It was oddly quite, too quite in a room with Luffy in it. The silence usually meant that Luffy was contemplating a sneak attack to take the food. He spared a wary glance behind him to see what the rubber boy was up to, ready to defend the food from the bottomless pit that was his captain.

His heart froze at the sight of Luffy's brown eyes blown wide, his face slightly pale and a hand over his nose as if he smelled something bad. His shoulders rigid with tension and before he could say or do anything_, Luffy flinched away from him_.

He felt his chest ache at the instinctual movement because Luffy just _shied away from him_ and it hurt to know he did _something_ to cause the wide-eyed, glazed look on his face that told him that the rubber-boy was not completely here and somewhere _bad_. There was only one thing that could cause such an adverse reaction and the realization of that filled him with dread.

Suddenly, Luffy shot up and bolted to the door, almost tripping over his own feet as he practically flew out toward the deck, a hand clamped over his mouth. By the time he reached the deck Luffy's upper body was pitched over the rail retching out what sounded like the day's entire meals.

"Luffy? You okay?" was the only response he could muster, which was stupid because of course he wasn't okay. Instead he rubbed gentle circles on the sick boy's back, waiting until he was done dry heaving.

"Sanji...can you...air out the kitchen? Please...?" His heart broke in half at the small, pleading voice. Luffy suddenly looked too small and young, face pale and sweaty. And it wasn't right.

"Sure." He didn't dare reject his captain's request, didn't dare to try and question what was wrong or ask what he had done wrong to get such a reaction. He would not hurt the boy more than he already was. "It...smelled bad in there." was the vague answer after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, his curiosity peaked at the small clue.

"Like what?" He made sure that his voice was calm and neutral, as if he was asking about the weather, but not unemotionally. It was the same voice that he had observed Zoro using when dealing with Luffy when the latter was in one of his more morbid moods or when he had a nasty nightmare. As long as he did not make a big deal about the situation then Luffy was more forthcoming with what he was feeling and _not hide away from them _like he usually did. He drew the younger male back into his arms until he was leaning back on him, giving his (much) smaller arms a comforting squeeze.

"It was like...something…my nii-chan was burning." And his heart cried and broke into tiny pieces at the raw pain and anguish in his captain's voice. And he felt shitty because instead of making his captain's usual shitty meat meal he should have made something else-and he was so damn stupid because he had indirectly hurt Luffy.

Luffy never talked about what happened during the war. It was an unspoken rule that they were to never bring up Marineford or Ace, they would not pour salt in fresh wounds just to satisfy their own curiosity. But on the other hand, this was the first time that Luffy gave a hint to what happened the day the older D died.

But having an idea about what happened did not change the fact that it was painful. What was he supposed to say...?

_'Shitty marines.' _He cursed silently. Them and their so called 'justice'.

So he settled with something they were both familiar with. Familiarity was safe and would make the tension and glazed look on his Captain's face _go away_.

"Hey rubber idiot, I have a new recipe for hot chocolate. Want any?" He doesn't comment or draw attention to the small insight about what happened on that battlefield. While he was not familiar with terrible loss, he had seen what it could do to people (Nami and Brook were prime examples) and knows that no amount of time or pity could ever heal a person completely.

Knows that no matter what he said (_didn't know what to say_) wouldn't change anything and even if he tried he knew that the jumble of words would just confuse Luffy.

But he was a professional cook; he knew how to convey emotions (_what he wanted to say, but couldn't_) in every morsel of his food. And Luffy understood actions (no matter how subtle) better than anything else. That and Luffy liked hot chocolate.

"Hot chocolate? With marshmallows?" His head whipping around to look at blond with wide eyes filled with the familiar spark of excitement when he was given something edible. His voice is no longer filled with anguish and loss, but his normal, childlike, happy voice that one cannot help but smile at.

"Of course."

He watched with a rare smile as Luffy headed back toward the kitchen, pain forgotten, stretchy smile in its place.

And while they couldn't completely erase or what happened two years ago, but for the boy (_man_) who was there for his nakama when needed, the least they could do was sooth the anguish and devastation and put back the broken pieces together as best as they could.

And while it would not be a perfect fix, it would be done with the utmost _care and attention and love_, among comforting melodies and hugs and laughter and familial warmth that was _home_.

And because he knew how Luffy worked, he knew that a teaspoon of honey in his hot chocolate (that was made with perhaps a little more care than normal) would allow his Captain a night without dreams of burning flesh and long gone family.

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><p><strong>Not sure if I like how I ended it, but I didn't want to drag it on. But I'm still pleased with how it turned out. Sanji was kind of hard to write out for me for some reason. <strong>

**Any way, tell me what you guys think! Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Time to Heal**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews and favorites and follows and those that just read it! It really warmed my heart to read all of them, I like that so many of you guys liked reading this! **

**IMPORTANT: By the way I forgot to put this in the actual summary but there are actual symptoms and effects of PTSD in every chapter. I researched all the possible affects so that there wouldn't be any kind of misleading information. But they are subtle, I don't think Luffy would have realized he has PTSD and if he did feel different, he wouldn't say anything or show it unless it was involuntary.**

**Can you guys spot what the symptom/effect is? **

**With that... **

**Enjoy and Read!**

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><p><strong>Chapter<strong>** 2: Chopper**

Chopper had dedicated his life to healing wounds and saving people's lives, the need to help an injured person was second nature to him, instinctual really. It needed to be that way if he wanted to save his friend's lives.

Over the last two years (and reading a paper that spoke volumes of pain), Chopper had done everything possible to increase both his medical knowledge and his fighting skills. After all, what good was it to be a doctor if he couldn't defend himself? If he was injured in battle, who would heal his nakama?

When the Straw Hats reunited at Sabaody Archipelago the first thing he registered was Zoro's missing eye (a straight cut, done by another sword) and the massive 'X' shaped scar on Luffy's chest (the scar was to 'smooth' to be done by blade, it was a likely after effect from a sever burn of some kind).

Upon examining the mass of scar tissue, Chopper's suspicions had been confirmed. The scar was a remnant from a fatal wound. A wound that could have easily killed his Captain from the pain alone, a wound that he didn't treat.

And as a doctor, Chopper knew that a scar of that magnitude did not simply heal. There was probably weeks (months) of painful tenderness and infections and fevers and countless times he may have been over dosed with medicines and sedatives because no outsider would know about Luffy's drug sensitivity. He didn't want to even think about how _pained_ Luffy must have felt every time he stretched his body.

He had no doubt that an injury of this severity would still affect Luffy even after two years of healing. His mind briefly went over all the possible repercussions the injury could still cause-skin sensitivity, overheating of the healing flesh, phantom pains around the burn area, increased heart rates...?

And it seemed that he was right, Chopper frowned in concern as he watched Luffy run his nails into the ruined skin of his chest (noting that he was hiding in the shadows of several large barrels, _hiding from them_). He could tell that Luffy had been scratching at his scar for a while; the skin was bright red with irritation and looked (he hoped not) as if the skin had begun to bleed slightly in certain areas from over scratching.

His heart hurt at the sight of the blood, it didn't belong on any of his nakama no matter how small. Especially Luffy (he was rubber, he didn't bleed easily), it was wrong. With his mind made up he ran to his office and picked up a few creams that he was sure would be helpful.

"Luffy, don't scratch anymore." Chopper ordered voice firm and strong but filled with love. He needed Luffy to understand that he shouldn't bleed (hide the hurt), because he was his friend, his brother, his doctor and _shouldn't hide from him_ (them).

Luffy blinked at his sudden appearance (something had fled from his eyes at the sight of Chopper, and he ignored the way his tiny heart skipped a beat at that) but dropped his hand into his lap. A semi-guilty smile stretching his face, not unlike a small child who got caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

"Sorry Chopper!"

He nodded in acknowledgement and recounted stories of what he had seen and learned during their separation while he cleaned the irritated skin and applied cool creams that would alleviate the burn and sooth the scratches and (briefly) rid Luffy of the pain.

Mentally frowning at the fact that whoever treated Luffy's injuries after the war had only cared enough to save his life, disregarding any pains or discomforts, any aftercare. And he was sure that they probably had left his Captain by himself as soon as he was saved, alone on some distant island away from the safety and comfort from his make-shift family.

The lone years must have devastated Luffy psychologically.

His hands froze briefly and his heart wept; because while he could sooth and heal the physical pains with bandages and medicines…

Nothing could cure a broken heart.

Luffy would never be the same (_whole_) again. And the knowledge sparked something wild and angry in him (he was a doctor, he should know how to heal mental wounds!) but at the same time, wanted to scoop up the black haired boy into his arms and reassure him that everything would be okay and never let go-

But he did none of that.

"There, that should make it better!" Chopper's pleased smile didn't waver and the happiness was genuine. But Luffy was perceptive where his friends were concerned and he brought the little reindeer into his arms in a warm loving hug.

"Shishishi! Thanks Chopper! I feel loads better; you're the best doctor ever!" Was all he said, voice laced with nothing but love and sheer honesty.

"Shut up! You calling me the best doctor doesn't make me happy bastard!" Warmth bloomed in heart, melting the frozen fear that reality presented. Unable to resist the urge to wrap his tiny arms around Luffy's neck and hold him tightly.

Even if there was no cure for the pain of losing a loved one, that didn't mean Chopper couldn't damn try. And he would, even if it had to be done with the collective love and support of his nakama.

Because Luffy was his Captain and his friend, his doctor, and he would go to any and all lengths to heal and sooth him-

because Luffy was worth the effort and long years of never-ending studying because he would be _nothing less but the best_ for Luffy.

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><p><strong>I'm pretty satisfied with how this one came out.<strong>

**I truly believe that a severe wound like Luffy's would still have some kind of aftereffects even if it had 'healed' completely. **

**Tell me what you thought!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Time to Heal**

**As always thank you all for your reviews and favorites and follows and those that just read and view it!**

**And to those that watch the anime, did you watch One Piece episode 663? I was so happy to finally see him in animation and his voice actor suits him!**

**Enjoy and Read!**

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><p><strong>Chapter<strong>** 3: Brook**

Brook had no clue where the rest of his nakama were, the crew had split to do their own things as soon as groups had been chosen with a promise to meet back at Sunny (and a threat to not cause any problems) before nightfall.

But they were the Straw Hat Pirates, trouble always found them.

No sooner than an hour on land and they were being chased all over the island by the Marines and soon drawn into battle.

The Straw Hats were scattered around the island and would be easy pickings had been what the Marines thought.

However, they had all trained hard and became stronger for instances such as this and really neither Brook or Luffy had any problems with the confrontation, and they were confident that their nakama would be fine on their own.

It wasn't like two years ago, never would be again.

The Marines, while well trained, as expected of the New World, were no match for Brook and no more than play things for Luffy.

The Straw Hats were in and out of the island in less than 2 hours.

But that had been hours ago, night had fallen with thousands of brightly shining stars providing some light, the sea was calm (a welcome relief). A clear, peaceful night. Everyone had gone to bed hours ago while Luffy (surprisingly) volunteered for the first shift of night watch followed by Brook.

It had only been at least a few hours since Luffy's shift began and Brook had wanted to relieve his Captain of watch a bit early. The second he reached the deck however, he froze. Something didn't seem right, it was quiet, an eerie kind of silence that felt as if there was no living thing for miles, screaming loneliness. A silence that Brook was all too familiar with.

Brook was at a loss at what to do now though.

Luffy was not sitting on Sunny's head, but on the deck leaning back on the railing next to his special seat. Hunched over slightly, shoulders shaking as if cold, one of his hands pressed tightly to the scar on his chest, eyes staring aimlessly ahead of him, his normally clear brown hues were murky and glazed over and _not there_, not registering that anyone was here-

And Brook was terrified because he _knew_ that glazed, lost look meant that Luffy was _not there_ and was somewhere else. He recognized it because it was the same look he himself adopted when his mind would slip into a different time and he would talk to his departed loved ones.

Suddenly Luffy let out a pained chocked gasp before shooting up from his spot and dashing to Sunny's main mast and violently rammed his head into the mast with bone crushing force, nearly denting the Adam's wood.

"GO AWAY! GET OUT!" He screamed loudly, slamming his head into the mast with increasing force. He suddenly wished Zoro was here, the swordsmen would know what to do in this kind of situation. But Zoro wasn't here and he was too afraid to leave the suddenly suicidal boy by himself for any length of time.

"Luffy-san!" He called out, desperate for his Captain to realize that he was _safe_ and among his family and that _no one_ would touch him. He attempted to restrain Luffy by wrapping his arms around him, but all that did was cause the boy to thrash against him. "LET GO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Brook struggled against the violent motions "Luffy-san you're safe!", but was forced to eventually release him.

He did not want to risk potentially hurting his Captain.

He watched in horror as Luffy dropped to the ground like a rag doll and began to repeatedly smash his head on the deck, big droplets of tears cascading from his wide, glazed, anguished eyes- And a long dead organ in him _ached and twisted_ with familiarity, because _of course _(his savior) Luffy would slip back into the mindset of his darkest (_lonesome pained_) hour.

Brook himself would slip back to his lonesome 50 years in darkness and lost nakama.

Even after he had found home and friends and life on board an amazing ship with the most amazing people that Brook would die (though he was already dead) for. And these amazing people not only _understood_ the insanity that lurked underneath his bones but would call out and extend their (_alive flesh_) hands to him and pull him free from the madness.

So, he would do the same.

He could not hold silent unspoken words like Zoro or spin amazing tales like Usopp or explain concepts in a simpler non-condescending way like Robin- but he was a musician and he could convey words and emotions into notes and melodies that rang with warmth and love and friends and home and respect and gratitude (for the dear brother who deserved his thanks) and safety.

The eerie silence that settled on Sunny was soon replaced with the harmonious sound of his violin (Luffy's favorite), the sweet, gentle music clear and strong filled the deck with the comforts of _home and safety_. And Luffy-who always cheered and clapped at his performances, responded as if called and Brook was so _relieved_ to see the far away gaze fade away and replaced with a bodily wariness that had the small captain slumped against his musician as soon as the latter sat himself down without missing a note.

The two sat in a comfortable silence, the music serving to dispel whatever demons plagued Luffy and to calm Brook's suddenly frazzled nerves now that the shock (fear) of seeing his normally cheerful Captain self-destructive had worn off.

"…Thanks Brook…" Was mumbled in a heavy sleep ridden tone that Brook almost missed it. But he could hear the pure sincerity and relief (for not trying to question him and for pulling him out of the forever-haunting memories). And it made Brook smile; he wouldn't deserve the title of being Straw Hat Luffy's Musician if he couldn't pull his nakama from their nightmares!

"Not all Luffy-san."

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><p><strong>I was actually excited to write this chapter and am pretty pleased with how it came out.<strong>

**The PTSD symptom for this chapter is pretty obvious.**

**Thank you for reading, please leave your thoughts and comments in a review! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Time to Heal**

**As always thank you all for your reviews and favorites and follows and those that just read and view it! Your guy's continued support motivated me to the point were I finished typing this chapter early and decided to post it early!**

**Enjoy and Read!**

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><p><strong>Chapter<strong>** 4: Nami**

For once Nami's annoyance did not center on the rowdy boys that were her crewmates. She wished it was that simple, the noise was comforting after two years without it. Not that she would admit it aloud, but her pleased smile at the loud yells and sound of pounding feet running around Sunny always showcased her contentment.

No, her annoyance (worry) steamed from the fact that one voice was noticeably absent from the usual bat shit shrieking of her boys; more specifically Luffy's. Normally, that would have been a welcomed relief and a blessing. And any person on the crew would take advantage of the temporary silence and relax before the ball of energy returned with a vengeance.

But Luffy had been oddly silent _and still_ since he woke up from his nap and had not moved from his spot on Sunny's head. She knew it wasn't his normal scheming that usually preluded a raid on the kitchen later. No, this stillness was heavy and the air surrounding Luffy felt something in between desperate and morbid.

And it scared her, Luffy never got scared and anything that did was a red flag warning to the rest to _get the hell out and run_ (like they should have done in Sabaody). From the corner of her eye she watched as Luffy casually jumped (leapt) from his special spot and walk (run) in the direction of the bathroom. The brief flash of his face, wide-eyed, pale and sweating, had set off a red flag in her mind and she followed after him.

Her worry increased ten-fold because her dear, sweet Captain was hunched over the sink raking his nails over his hands, nearly scraping the skin clean off. And Nami cursed his inhuman strength because she had _only been a few seconds behind him_ and he had already made his hands bleed.

"..Getoffgetoffgetoff…!" was whispered in a _distraught, hopeless voice filled with anguish_ and it nearly broke her heart and her soul ached with déjà vu. Because it was as if she was looking in at her past self- filled with hate and hopelessness and despair for her situation-everything crumbling under the stress of an eight year long imprisonment-

"…getoffgetoffgetoffgetoff…"

And he entrusted his treasure to her; an assurance (you'll be alright), a trust (that had been given at the very beginning), a symbol of (unconditional) love that was so freely given despite the fact that Nami had spat in his face, throwing dirt and blood and tears at him. Desperate to _erase and destroy_ the mark of her jailer, even if she had to drown in blood.

Just like how Luffy was attempting to drown the memories of loss and despair in his blood.

"Stop it Luffy." Firm but gentle and spoken with as much love and reassurance (_you'll be okay_) she could muster. Unflinchingly placing her hands over his, stopping the mutilation of his hands (miracle producers). Turning on the water to lukewarm and gently washing the blood (Ace's) off his hands-washing away the hurt and anguish and the pain of regret.

"Idiot." She scolded softly without heat as she cleaned out the deep angry red lines, "Sanji's gonna throw a fit when he sees your hands." Luffy said nothing but continue to stare at their joined hands, almost as if he couldn't register that he was no longer alone.

"Nami."

Was called out in a chocked begging voice (_help me_) that Nami's breath hitched in recognition and she almost cried from relief, because _finally_ she could help him. Just as Luffy extended his hand, she extended hers.

Once she had carefully (lovingly) wrapped her Captain's raw hands in soft bandages she led him out toward the deck and over to her mikan trees. Smile widening when she assessed the fruits to be ripe and sweet, ready to be picked and used. "Here. They should be sweet." Like he placed his treasure in her hands, she placed hers in his.

Each mikan placed in his arms replaced the agony and bitter hurt of losing one's family with warm memories of nakama and home and love. A reminder that she (they) would always be there when he needed them and all he had to do was ask (like she had done) and they would be there to take his hand and guide and support him until he was back on his feet, ready to fight again.

And his eyes lit up in recognition of the gesture and a small smile brighter than the sun bloomed on his face; no trace of the lost, self-loathing look in his eyes or the painful edge to his grin.

"Thanks! Nami's mikan are the best!"

"Yeah yeah, don't get used to it."

And as she predicted, Sanji's visible eye had narrowed upon seeing Luffy's bandaged hands but held off his scolding when he saw the mikan encased in his and Nami-swan's arms. "Sanji can you make ice cream with these?" She asked, voice brimming with confidence and reassurance thrown in for Sanji's sake. Luffy didn't need any one prying into his problems unnecessarily.

"Hai Nami-swan~~!"

Hours later to Nami's annoyance (not really), the rest of the day was filled with the obnoxious racket of her boys times ten because of Luffy. And the world never seemed more right as it did then.

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><p><strong>Sorry if this chapter seemed shorter than the last ones, the next one should be longer! <strong>

**Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, as always leave your thoughts, opinions etc..in a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Time to Heal**

**Ok I lied last chapter when I said that this one would be longer. BUT before I'm attacked, this time it's intentional! And I'll compensate you guys with a longer chapter that'll be posted in a few days I promise! **

**Also I apologize in advance if you one of you guys cry, I made myself cry a bit while typing this.**

**Sorry again it's short!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Luffy <strong>

Sometimes it was hard for Luffy to get through the day. Those days were marked with waking later than the rest of his crew, a hard night's lack of sleep followed by a bodily wariness that made his muscles and bones ache to the point where it was difficult to get up from bed.

Afterword's he would be treated to concerned looks from his nakama once he emerged from the men's room. The looks worsened when he refused Sanji's offer for a late breakfast or when he would sit in his special seat instead of playing with Usopp and Chopper, silently promising to make it up to them later.

His mind would blur in-between bitter memories of loss and blood and self-hate and anger, painting a twisted blood-red picture of the exact moment his dear brother paid the price for his weakness. Even now, he still had to repress a silent, shuddering sob; the scar on his chest aching and burning at the effort.

He tried to control it.

Moments where his turmoil became too unbearable and he couldn't help but rake his nails over his blood stained hands, hoping to replace the lost life with his own if even just a little bit. Or his mind would become lucid and he wouldn't be able to tell if he was back in that hell hole or safe on his ship. He felt guilty thought, he shouldn't be doing this to himself, he knew that (_Ace wouldn't want you to do this to yourself_). But _dammit_, he was so tired of the hate and the anger and the pain.

Tired of smiling even though he wanted nothing more than to scream and cry how _unfair the world was and that he should have been the one to die and not his big brother who just started to feel happy about being alive. It wasn't fair his brother deserved to be alive not him and what did Ace do that was so wrong that those bastards had to kill him for it_-He bit his lip to prevent the escape of another sob.

He especially felt guilty whenever one of his nakama would catch him at these moments; he hated telling Sanji that he couldn't eat, hated watching Nami wash his (Ace's) blood off his raw hands, hated telling Usopp and Chopper he was too tired to play, hated that every shadow he saw on his own ship looked like a potential enemy ready to take away the only people he had left in the world.

He was such a weakling, his brother had been dead for two whole years and he still cried like a baby when he should be happy that he was still alive and had his family back.

So he tried to control his emotions.

Never for himself (_he deserved to be miserable, he'd killed his brother_). But for the sake of his nakama, he would. If he didn't then he would lose the only people he had left in the world and because he knew what it felt like to lose everything…

Luffy wouldn't survive it a second time.

So, for their sakes, he would control it.

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><p><strong>How was it? Did any of you shed tears...?<strong>

**Until a few days...**

**Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Time to Heal**

**Here's the promised chapter! And it's longer than the last one too. Thank you guys so much for your reviews, glad to see that you guys liked the last chapter! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6: Usopp <strong>

Usopp was a liar and coward in every sense of the word. An outsider would jeer at this admission. But his nakama knew otherwise, even before their two year 'vacation'. While outsiders saw a dishonest man, his crewmates saw a loyal man incapable of ever running away when his friends needed him. And they would remind him of such.

But sometimes he felt every bit the coward the world saw.

Especially when it came to his friends, more specifically Luffy. Even after two years of intense training and muscle building, he still felt his heart constrict at the sight of his best friend's screwed shut eyes, hands clamped tightly over his ears and hunched back. His blood would freeze and his chest would tighten because it _wasn't natural_ for someone like Luffy to look so _small and fragile_.

And it was at those moments (like this one) that filled him with burning determination to _protect and fight_ because it was okay if Luffy couldn't fight because he was here and his friend could trust and lean on him when he couldn't stand tall (like he should have done two years ago).

So he crouched to Luffy's level and gently pried his hands away from his head (he's still not quite sure why Luffy just stopped in the middle of a fight) and he mentally grimaces at the sight of his best friend's pained face.

"Hey Luffy, give me a few minutes and then we'll go home okay?" His tone is conversational and happy (he doesn't want to give away how scared he is) and it's dripping with confidence (not false for once). He ignores the flinch and nearly inaudible whimper (he vaguely registers the loud gunfire that sounded not far from their right) as he drapes his jacket over Luffy's small frame-

He turns and takes several steps forward, in front of his captain, and takes aim at the enemy that he somehow knows is at least 40 feet away, and fires.

He takes down at least a dozen bounty hunters before they realize that the best option is to get close so that Usopp can't shoot them. If he had been on his own he would have run for higher ground. But he can't because _Luffy's behind him_ and if he moves then they could hurt him and he refuses to abandon him (like Water 7).

Instead he grows angry. And once one of the bastards is close enough-"Impact Dial!" he is blown back and while the others are stunned at the display of strength he shoots them down and one another aims his sword at Luffy he aims Kabuto and shoots the man with a clarity and hardened resolve that wasn't there moments before-

And the field around them grows silent once again, bodies lying bloodied and unmoving. And Usopp doesn't feel the slightest bit sorry. They shouldn't have dared to aim at his Captain.

"Usopp…?" his name is called out, the tone was small and confused and Luffy doesn't sound as if he's aware of where he is. And the fear crawls back slightly. "Told you it would only take a few minutes! Let's go home buddy." Even when Usopp is trying to comfort someone he still tries to lie and hide (_coward_) his own feelings (it hurts sometimes, but another part of him thinks of it as self-punishment for abandoning his friend in his time of need)

His hearts throbs painfully at the look of utter _relief_ like (they) he was the only thing he has left in the world, on his face. And his almost breaks because he knows where Luffy was but not how he ended up there. And he's frustrated with himself cause maybe he could have prevented it-

And he wants to hug him and tell him _it'll be okay_ and at the same time _beg_ him to tell him everything that's happened because he wants to help him-Usopp doesn't want to feel like he's let his Captain down again.

But Luffy seems to understand this (like always when it came to his nakama), and he sends his sniper a strong, soft grin (he's okay). Filled with the endless strength that he was known to give out, a strength that was reserved for whenever his nakama needed strength to stand tall again.

Usopp feels miserable because who (the only one who could is _dead and gone_) is Luffy going to depend on when he needs that same support? The closest one who could is Zoro and who knows where he is?

Two years ago, Usopp vowed to become stronger for the sake of his family (_for Luffy_) because he was tired of being the weak coward and wanted to become a brave warrior of sea, like his father, so that his nakama could lean on him too.

Luffy understands this too.

So Luffy, still disoriented and dizzy, allowed Usopp to lift him up and place him on his back and as they traveled in a companionable silence, Usopp briefly wondered whether he could ever become someone that Luffy could lean on.

The Straw Hats had been asked to once (_take care of him for me_) and had failed miserably. And they had paid the price for their negligence (their captain was scarred in more ways than one). His grip tightened on Luffy's legs and he hardened his resolve.

Even if Usopp was a coward, he would become as strong as he needed to be, for his Captain's sake; he would become someone who Luffy could depend on (like the loving older brother they met in a vast desert).

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><p><strong>Did you guys spot the PTSD symptom?<strong>

**Thanks for reading, leave your thoughts in a review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Time to Heal**

**Here's the long awaited Zoro chapter! Thank you so much for the reviews and favorites! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Zoro<strong>

Despite himself, Zoro was beginning to worry. This was the third time _in a row_ this week that Luffy had volunteered for night watch. It wasn't healthy and it was beginning to show in the form of dark bags under his dark eyes, slightly pale face and decreasing energy. And Zoro had the suspicion that when Nami would send Luffy to go sleep that he was doing anything but sleeping.

Zoro wasn't the only one who noticed the Captain's deteriorating health. He had seen Nami and Sanji glance at Luffy with frowns on their faces; seen the way that Usopp and Chopper deflated when Luffy choose to sit on Sunny's head instead of playing; Robin, Franky and Brook would only send knowing looks to one another and Zoro would observe with increasing concern. They wanted to confront Luffy about his sleeping habits, especially Chopper, but didn't know how to go about it.

Even Chopper (who was so fierce when it came to the crew's health) was unwilling to press the still raw wounds.

Not that he was the only one; Zoro was not one for beating around the bush and preferred to be blunt and to the point. But even he couldn't find the heart to bring it up to his Captain, it was more so out of guilt. The scarred chest and shadowed eyes were the direct result of their failure to take care of him, a physical reminder of Zoro's failure to protect his captain.

A reminder of a broken promise. And Zoro didn't break promises, but he had. The Luffy they were seeing now was a result of their (his) failure. How could be the strongest swordsmen in the world if he couldn't even keep one promise to a man who had entrusted them with his treasure?

Unlike most people, Zoro _knew_ Luffy. He knew that Luffy probably dreamt of a lost childhood that he could no longer connect to because the connection was dead and the knowledge probably (did) saddened him.

Or perhaps his nights were filled with death and blood and cries and pleas and loss and crushing grief because his family had slipped right through his fingers when he was right there. And there would no longer be anyone who could sit and laugh with him about the old times. And he was probably beginning to crumble under the heavy weight of guilt and pain.

Either way, both brought a certain tired, painful edge to Luffy's smile and a deep darkness would blacken his eyes until they looked like black holes that threatened to suck in everything. But what truly bothered Zoro was that every time he looked into the black holes that were those eyes he looked so _resigned and as if he would never be happy again_. As if it was painful for him to continue on.

Zoro feared what that kind of thing could eventually morph into.

A possible future without the straw hat that had come to symbolize home and family and dreams and future for him. Worth so much more than his life and he wondered what could he have done to deserve it?

And still yet, despite all this Luffy was attempting to deal with this on his own. It was one thing if he hid it from the rest of the crew, but he had _never hidden anything from him_. The fact that Luffy was even hiding from _Zoro_ of all people hurt. Like Luffy didn't trust him enough to let go of the strong façade he wore in the presence of others.

But he couldn't be angry or bitter about it. Because he knew that Luffy wasn't doing it out of spite or mistrust. He knew that Luffy was trying to spare them seeing him broken, sparing them from having to see him weak. Because a captain had to be strong for his crew, if the captain wasn't strong enough then he would lose his crew.

And Luffy knew what it was like to lose everything.

Zoro wouldn't force him to talk about the two years; he knew Luffy would if he really wanted to know. But that would be out of obligation and not because he willingly opened his heart to him. He also respected that Luffy didn't want to pour his heart out to them.

Not that he would let things continue as they were. This meant that there was only one thing he could do without doing anything that could cause unintentional hurt.

He watched with slightly narrowed eyes as his captain, smiling and laughing (pained edges already present) made to go up to the observation room. He ignored the surprised yelp as he grabbed one of Luffy's thin arms and dragged him to the men's cabin,

"Zoro? What-"

"We're going to bed. Usopp will take first watch." He replied smoothly, glad that none of the other men on the ship had come down to bed yet. Having others around would only make it harder for both of them.

Without warning he plopped both of them into Zoro's bed, making sure that Luffy was settled between his body and the wall. "Sleep." He commanded, bringing the blankets up to the smaller male's chin. Never breaking eye-contact with him.

Words that neither one needed to voice traveled between them like a flowing river; clear and strong. He was rewarded with a tired smile and dark eyes half-lidded and hazy with exhaustion but still somehow shinning brighter than the sun itself.

Luffy fell asleep no more than a minute later, and Zoro ignored the slight snicker from the cook when the blond man walked in.

"Good job shitty swordsmen."

"Che. Whatever Nosebleed."

And it really was nothing. Taking care of his captain was his duty as not only the First-Mate of the Straw Hat Pirates but also his job as Luffy's friend. Dreams, good or bad, would not be a hindrance to the future Pirate King so long as he was around.

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><p><strong>What did you guys think? I was actually going to post this chapter earlier but in the end decided to put it off until later, i think this one turned out pretty well. <strong>

**Leave all thoughts and opinions in reviews please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Time to Heal**

**Wow guys, I didn't expect so much positive feedback for the last chapter! Thanks for all the reviews! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: Robin<strong>

The latest pursers of the Straw Hat Pirates were smarter than the usual. Robin thought, the tiniest bit impressed with this group of bounty hunters. Not that it mattered how smart they were, she was better. And like all the others, they would fail in their attempts before they got anywhere near her crew.

It was entertaining at the very least; she always learned new information about the bounty hunters/Marine's hunting habits. For instance, Chopper was often targeted first because he had the smallest bounty and was therefore the weakest. Or if they decided to go for Franky or Brook, they tended to use sleeping gas. Or when they targeted Zoro they would shoot at him from a distance in order to keep him from getting to close.

Strategically, she thought it was smart. But she wasn't a bounty hunter and she didn't approve of anyone pointing dangerous objects at her family.

But they were in the New World now; it would be naïve of her to believe that the pursuers wouldn't get smart and attempt new ways to catch the ever elusive Straw Hat Pirates.

She (and the crew) grew stronger for this. So Sabaody wouldn't be repeated. So that their family wouldn't be forced apart.

But if there was one thing she wasn't expecting it was the whispers and taunts. They made her blood boil in anger and her heart clench painfully.

'_Straw Hat Luffy?! Stay away! Monster!_'

'_Kill Dragon's son!_'

'_Ha! He couldn't even save his brother!_'

'_He's just as evil as his brother, kill him!_'

She couldn't help but grit her teeth, the words were so familiar to her and she remembered how they made her want nothing more than to just curl up and cry-

'_He has the blood of a demon, he doesn't deserve to live._'

She snapped. This was a man who saved cities and nations and countless lives, who went through the impossible to save his brother and failed. A man who though lost everything, still found the strength and will to continue living.

How dare they say he didn't deserve to live?

Her eyes would shift and glance briefly to her Captain's moving figure as he took out the nearest opponent, if he heard the callous words, he didn't show it. Luffy was childish and, despite his experiences, had the innocence of one as well. It was so easy for people to see that grinning face and be comforted by the fact that he could never possibly deceive anybody because he was too open-

His child like personality was a double edged sword- on one hand it meant that Luffy wasn't one to listen to the words of others (especially commands, he did what he wanted). On the other, she knew first hand that if told something enough times; the person could come to believe it.

And Robin suddenly wondered what he could be hiding behind that smile. What hurts could be lurking behind the happy persona; no one would know if he was hurting or genuinely happy.

She would know best. She once hid behind a cold exterior, letting the cruel words wash over her like water, never showing any signs that they bothered her. She seemed indifferent, but on the inside she was drowning. And it wasn't until years later that she was finally pulled out of the raging torrent that was her heart and allowed to truly breathe.

Watching him swing his fist into the nearest bounty hunters' face (with a lot more force than he would normally use, and she cataloged the observation for later review) she wondered how long he had been drowning too. Her soul churned, out of all the people in the world, he was the one who least deserved to be in such inner turmoil.

She smiled as she heard an all too familiar sickening crack, making sure that her eyes were the last thing they saw before she broke their necks, twisted their bones. And with that the fight was over. Her eyes scanned each member of her family, making sure that they were still there and alive. Chopper was scolding and treating Zoro who got to reckless and had a trickle of blood on his head. The others were covered in dirt and small scrapes.

Alive and safe.

Then her eyes landed on her small captain.

She frowned as she noticed the slight trembling of his small frame, his fist were clenched so tightly that he might draw blood. His eyes were blown wide and staring (glaring) hard at the fallen men- an unknown emotion flittered in his eyes as he turned his head like an animal trying to sense danger.

Something in his eyes was akin to…Panic…?

She scanned the area again, searching for anything that could have set him off. But the area was empty, save for the bodies of their opponents, who lied unconscious. She watched as after a few minutes that tension began to bleed form his body and he visibly relaxed, eyes shining with both exhaustion and relief.

She worried her lips a bit at the action; it was no different from a skittish animal trying to detect predators. No different from when she was deciding wither to trust a person or not, or perceive when the betrayal would come. When she would have to choose between fight or flight. A life forced onto her after having everything ripped away from her.

Her heart cried out in understanding. She remembered the overwhelming fear and paranoia; always having to look over her shoulder. A multitude of sleepless nights because she couldn't possibly relax knowing that the enemy could be right next to her.

And Luffy (her sweet, innocent captain) who had been forced into that life by a world that resented him (_not before taking the only family he had left_), was now suffering from the consequences of prolonged solitude (accented by grief).

She also remembered the relief that a few worn pages brought her. Her beloved words and books and scholarly text had given her a temporary escape and courage to survive at least one more day. She remembered how the well-loved volumes had been the only thing she could look forward to before the old worn straw hat and its scar-faced owner.

She wanted to relieve him of the crippling fear that everything would be torn from him, if only temporarily.

Once the Straw Hats had safely set sail again it was nearly night time and some of them were already turning in for the night. Although she noted that once Luffy almost seemed reluctant to go to bed (he hadn't been sleeping much lately). And if she looked close enough, she could still see small traces of his earlier panic, his eyes occasionally darting to the nearest shadow.

"Sencho would you stay up with me for watch?"

"Sure!" A happy grin thrown her way, momentary hyper-vigilance forgotten.

Soon they were both settled comfortably side by side among pillows and blankets in the Observation Room. Robin pulled out one of her smaller volumes, "Would you like to hear a story?" Her captain practically vibrated with excitement, "Yeah! Is it an adventure?" She couldn't help but smile hopelessly at the response, it was what she was looking for and she was pleased to note that remnants of paranoia were gone.

"Yes it is. It's about a man who goes on an adventure with his friends looking for treasure." She replied smoothly, opening the book to the first chapter.

Hours later she closed the book and smiled gently as the almost asleep boy yawned tiredly; happy, content warmth pulsed in his nearly shut eyes. She tucked the blankets around him more securely, "Did you like the story?" brushing his bangs back slightly, she was pleased to see that the fear and panic was absent from his face. "Yeah, especially the part where he got to be King and live with all his friends." He muttered lowly, voice trailing off as he fell asleep.

Robin hoped that she was at least able to sooth his worries and allow him a peaceful nights rest without having to worry about nakama stealing shadows.

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><p><strong>Did I do Robin justice? Also this chapter ended up being longer than the last ones. <strong>

**Review please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Time to Heal**

**Before you guys say anything, this is not the last chapter! There is still one more chapter and then it will be done! **

**To be honest, coming to the end makes me a bit sad. T-T**

**Did you guys read the latest OP chapter?! It's so sad! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: Franky<strong>

Franky was pissed. He wanted nothing more than to blast this whole damn town to smithereens. But he was more worried than angry. He glanced at Luffy who was _smiling and laughing_ with a street vendor. Ignoring the so-called _celebrations_ around him-and his heart wrenched with both pride and pain.

The crew had been dangerously low on supplies and had to resort to using a Coup de Burst to reach this island in a last ditch effort to get supplies. It had worked, they were now scattered around the island gathering what they needed, and Franky had been chosen to go with Luffy when the crew had split.

However he regretted coming to this island.

All around him were street vendors and colorful balloons and street performers entertaining the crowd, dozens of delicious mouthwatering smells covered the area. Children and teenagers ran around the game booths.

The island was celebrating the Marine's victory at Marineford, celebrating and cheering over the deaths of the 'evil' pirates who deserved to die for defying the government. Celebrating the death of the late Pirate King's devil son Portgas D. Ace.

It was bullshit; none of these people had any right to celebrate the death of someone. It wasn't right, especially the death of a (as far as he was concerned) super guy who made the ultimate sacrifice for someone he loved.

All day he'd heard nothing but people saying how proud and grateful they were that the Marines had defeated the pirates and had hoe happy they were that such an evil person was dead. It was as if the whole island was rubbing his brother's death in Luffy's face. Franky had been close to snapping the first time he heard the conversations but was stopped when his little bro simply looked up at him (_his wide eyes hidden in the shadows of his hat_) and said "Stop." Did he imagine the slight trembling in his voice?

Franky was surprised that Luffy could walk around listening to this _poison_ and seemingly not have a care in the world. He didn't want to imagine how much his captain was hurting at the moment; the grief and regret and longing and guilt and a whole mess of other emotions _tearing apart_ his heart and soul.

He knew from experience how easy it was to give into the hurt and self-loathing and lash out. He also knew how hard it was to just suck it up and pretend that it didn't affect you. Franky knew from personal experience how the agony of broken bones and torn limbs didn't compare to the constricting darkness that poisoned one's heart.

And he knew that his awesome captain was the kind of guy that would rather suffer in silence than show how much something hurt him. Some people would see that as being a coward, people like the venomous crowd around them. Franky saw it as an act of bravery; if it had been him, and someone was openly mocking Tom…well there wouldn't be anything left of them. But Luffy took it all in like it was nothing and ignored the jeers; Franky wouldn't stop him if he did snap at someone.

But still...

Nothing hurt worse than the guilt.

It festered under one's skin like a second lair that burned and made you want to rip your skin off. No matter how much you smiled and put up the front that nothing affected you anymore, the self-resentment and guilt was always at the forefront of your mind and it made you want to scream in frustration until your throat was raw and you desperately wanted someone to punish you because everything was your fault and the ones who told you otherwise were _wrong_.

It was your fault and you deserved to feel miserable.

Franky wanted to cry.

Not for himself (he'd found forgiveness with a group of crazy/suicidal people), but for the man next to him with a pained grin and eyes that looked glassy. It was the look of a man who had never been allowed to move on and the anguish was slowly breaking him until eventually he would be destroyed-a shell of a person that would no longer exist.

And that scared him more than anything-the destruction of the light that lit the path, not only for himself but seven other people, home. Home, forgiveness, and family was where he was. And they would be lost without him.

And the only thing he could do was set him on the path of forgiveness, he (and the others) would guide him just like Luffy guided them and he (they) wouldn't let him stray. They'd guide him as long as he needed them (forever if need be), only letting go when he let the ill feelings go.

"Hey Luffy," Throwing a mischievous smile his way, "Let's show them how to throw a real super party!" If the islanders wanted a celebration, they'd get one, Straw Hat Pirates style. Instead of mourning, they'd celebrate the life that had been preserved and show the natives that they couldn't break them with their celebrations of death.

They'd show the world that they hadn't broken Monkey D. Luffy.

And if Luffy had done just a little more collateral damage than usual, Franky said nothing and he laughed as he looked at the horrified faces of the locals as their monuments glorifying the brave marine who saved them from the evil that was 'Fire Fist' Ace.

Hours later, once they were all back at sea with full supply stores and bumps on their head courtesy of Nami (ignoring the fact that she too had joined in the 'party' when she saw what they were doing) Luffy turned to him.

"That was a lot of fun! Thanks Franky!" The anguish was still there in his eyes, but not as sharp as before and Franky didn't expect it to go away all at once. It took years for people like him and Robin to find solace, and he knew that it would be years before his captain let go of his guilt. But for now this was enough.

"It was nothing bro!"

For Franky it was enough, the rest would be picked up by his nakama and time.

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><p><strong>Well? Like it? Hate it? This chapter was really hard to write for me.<strong>

**Tell me what you guys thought in a review! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Time to Heal**

**Well guys, we've come to the last chapter of the story. **

**Thank you guys for the support you've given me since the beginning, I never really expected for this fic to get so many reviews and favorites. You guys are awesome!**

**Thanks again and enjoy the last chapter!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: Luffy <strong>

_He was kneeling in a sea of fire. _

_No matter where he looked there was nothing but deadly flames licking the ground, scorching it black. There was no one else but him, but despite being the only person the area was filled with the screams of dying men-Marines and Pirates alike. Weither it was a death by fire or stray bullet or even a lucky blade he didn't know. _

_His instincts begged him to move, it isn't safe and you'll be next if you don't move. He tried, but to his horror he couldn't will himself to move his legs, it was as if they had been fused into the hard ground. His heart rate began to jump erratically as he continued to try to leave behind the terror that was around him. _

_An involuntary whimper (Pain? Fear?) stumbled from his mouth as the flames threatened to touch him, when had they gotten so close? Suddenly a loud squelch like sound erupted and seconds later there were drops of warm…something hit his face. A pained gasp made him stiffly look up and his heart stopped. _

_"Ace?" He croaked out desperately, instincts telling him that the burning fist through his brother's chest was fatal and that it was his nii-chan's blood on his face. But he ignored it as Ace fell towards him-_

_And the nightmare blurred. _

_All he knew was that there were whispered last words next to his ear amongst desperate pleads and cries and that blood was pooling under them and it was on his hand when he tried to stop the flow. He could hardly breathe and he let out a strangled whimper as he saw the devil itself turn its murderous eyes on them, fist rising in preparation to hit them. _

_He didn't care anymore though. He hoped it did because then he would get to go with Ace and he wouldn't be alone and no one would be able to hurt them-_

_"..Thank you for loving me!"_

_Nonononononono! Ace couldn't leave because he promised not to die and leave him behind and how was he supposed to live without his big brother!? Hepromisedhepromisedhepromised ran through his head, trying to clutch his brother's body closer to him as it falls from his weakening grip and he stared in horror as he stared at the lifeless body, blood still gushing from the whole where his heart was supposed to be-_

_And he screamed._

He sprang up with a strangled cry, eyes wide and once he realized that he wasn't anywhere near that hellish place he slowly calmed his erratic heartbeat. Once he calmed down and whipped away the sweat and tears Luffy knew from the moment he woke up that it was going to be another one of _those_ days.

He could already feel the deep body wariness steep into his bones and it was only the fear of nightmares that kept him from lying back down. He was already dreading the concerned looks and confrontations from his crew.

For the first time since he's known them, he's afraid. Not _for_ them, but _of_ them. The only thing running in his mind was _they know _and now that they'd seen how weak and broken he was and they wouldn't be his friends anymore. They were going to leave him-

"You could have told us sooner." Nami said softly, her voice gentle and soothing instead of sharp and scolding. "We're your friends ya know." Franky added, for once, without any of his usual flair, this was too serious for jokes.

He didn't raise his eyes from the wall, refusing to see the hate in their eyes. Next to him, Robin and Usopp had placed their hands on his back, ignoring how he had winced at the touch. "Luffy-san, when you're in pain the best thing to do is share it with friends. That way they can help carry the burden." Brook said from somewhere behind Luffy.

He didn't want them to shoulder anything. It was his problem. His pain.

"I-I'm your doctor, you should have told me! And Brook is right; talking about the trauma can make you feel better about it." Chopper stated, his tiny heart constricting painfully as he registered the closed off look in Luffy's eyes.

"Shitty Captain…" He heard Sanji mummer, his foot tapping the floor in reflex instead of lighting a cigarette because Chopper didn't approve of violence or smoking in the infirmary. Zoro stared hard, his hand unconsciously griping Wado's hilt, it was the only thing calming his shot nerves when Luffy had collapsed out of nowhere during a fight with a rival pirate crew. He knew that Luffy was having one of his…off days and he still allowed him to fight.

Even though all it took was one glance at the raven-haired boy to tell that he _wasn't alright _and his negligence to say anything had led to his captain passing out surrounded by enemies. "Luffy," Zoro called out, voice somehow hard and soft, and he tried not to flinch.

"We're still here." And he looked up at his (unofficial) First Mate in the eye. Understanding and assurance and guilt and a whole mess of other emotions that he couldn't place swirled in Zoro's steel-colored eye and it made him want to cry.

He looked at each of his nakama (his treasures) and instead of seeing disgust and rejection saw love and understanding and _it's okay, we're here for you, please don't shut us out- _and how could he have ever thought them capable of abandoning him? Soon his mouth flowed with low words of Impel Down and the hell hole that was Marineford and how Ace had saved the life of his pathetic (they scolded him for calling himself that) little brother.

By the end of it there were tears everywhere but for once, Luffy couldn't bring himself to care that they were watching him come undone. He hadn't even known how much he needed the group hug until he was in the midst of it and the warmth and love that radiated from his family only served to make him cry harder. But strangely, he felt…lighter, the crushing weight that had settled deep in his chest seemed to lessen and suddenly he felt like he could _breathe_ after two years of pushed feelings.

Maybe things were already getting better. All he needed was his family and time. And perhaps, one day, he could think of his brother without feeling guilty or breaking down in tears or remembering blood and final words.

Instead he would remember all the good times he had with his brother; he would remember the love and warmth and hugs and remember that he _still_ had people that treasured him just as much as he did them.

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><p><strong>Like it? Hate it? <strong>

**Thanks so much for the support guys, leave your thoughts in a final review!**


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